Getting pregnant is one ginormous wake up call. Time to get my crap together! I’m eating better, exercising more regularly (walking up the stairs counts, right?), and totally paranoid about our finances. They say a woman looks into her baby’s crib and feels a surge of protectiveness, while a man looks into the crib and thinks, “How am I going to pay for this?”

As the Bargain Babe, I’m apprehensive about money, too. Our baby girl is slated to arrive sometime in January, and my husband and I are already doing things much differently with our money.

1. We bared down and faced death. Yes, we bought life insurance. This new monthly bill packs on $275 per month and has given us a new jest for life. Nothing brings you closer to your own mortality than paying someone to soften the blow of your spouse’s last breath.

2. Free drinks at the bar. Can you say seltzer? Many bartenders don’t charge for fizzy water, which is delicious with lime. I know some women drink while pregnant, but I think the trade off – a chance for a healthier mini me – in exchange for a relatively brief stint of sobriety, is worth it. The downside is that my husband feels compelled to drink for three. Doh!

3. We updated our budget to see if we can live on one income. We can, but only if we get really tight with our money. No massages, many fewer flights, and almost no eating out. We downgraded our cell phone plan, raised the deductible on our car insurance, and lowered our annual charitable contributions. More stuff is on the chopping block – our local, organic CSA groceries, our second car, and our Netflix subscription. We’re making slow changes now, so that we can acclimate, instead of going cold turkey. Still, it’s hard to imagine that our family will get bigger - but that we’ll actually spend less.

4. I updated my resume so that when I’m done with diapers and ready for paid work, I will have a current list of my skills and experience. I’m not convinced there is such a thing as “mommy brain,” but time off will certainly fade my recall of what I do well at work. Among the changes I made was to add a new line of my pre-baby activities: Improv Comedy, Ultimate Frisbee, Triathlons. Now what’s the statute of limitations for how long you can list an activity you no longer have time for?

5. I’m spending more time on Freecycle and Craistlist. You’d be shocked at how much amazing baby gear is free — or extremely cheap – on these sites. Already, I’ve nabbed a free Diaper Genie, a free crib with mattress, a $20 bassinet, a $30 Pack n’ Play, a $35 two-piece glider rocker, and a $75 Pottery Barn changing table. Brand new, this gear would have cost me $925 or more. But by scanning listings, I shelled out just $160. Score!

How did having kids change your life – financially, I mean? (I’ve heard enough whining about sleep deprivation, people!)

Julia Scott blogs about saving money on everyday expenses like groceries, gasoline, and gifts at BargainBabe.com.

Think NFL tickets are expensive? They are – but when you add up the cost of hot dogs, drinks, and other game-related items, the real price may be even more expensive than you thought. And if your home team is doing especially well this season, you could pay even more. Click on the image above to expand the infographic and explore how the total costs of attending a game vary across the US by team and location.

It’s a bad time to be a brand-new college graduate, as the job market is incredibly hard to crack these days. But if you’re having a tough time finding employment and paying down student loans, there is a place you can move to that offers below-market rent, home-cooked meals and a full-time housekeeper. The catch: It’s your old house, and your parents are the landlords.

Don’t feel bad if you’re moving back to the house you swore would only visit after you left for college. You’re not alone. According to AARP, 18 million adults are living with their parents, from recent college grads to thirtysomethings. While you’re not 16 anymore, and you may own your own car now, remember that you’re still living under someone else’s roof, and you’re subject to their rules. “Moving back home is a good way to save up while you look for a job or pay from the bills,” says Elina Furman, author of Boomerang Nation: How to Survive Living With Your Parents the Second Time Around. “But you don’t want to make it a permanent living situation.” And neither do your parents, probably.

So how do you make the move back home stress-free and temporary for all parties? Furman offers tips below that can come in handy for both boomerangers and their parents.

Have a reason for coming home

“When you’re deciding if you need to move back home, it goes beyond how much money you have left in the bank,” says Furman. “If you have credit card debt or big school loans, you’ll need some time to pay it off. The question is, do you want to pay it off over the long term or pay it off now?” if you opt for the latter, and you’re short on money for rent and basic needs, moving back home is the obvious choice, so you can build up cash to pay off debt, buy a home, whatever your goal.

Set a timeframe

You need to know how long it will take you to reach those goals. Without a timeline, it’s easy to put off the job and house hunt, leading you to procrastinate and live at home even longer. You can set up a customized debt payoff schedule or a savings plan using the Goals feature on Mint.com.

Break it to your parents

Although they probably are aware already that you need to cut costs – and they may have have made the first move by asking you if you want your old room back, you should still sit down and discuss your goals and timeline with Mom and Dad  before moving in. “Give them estimates – how long you want to live at home, how much debt you want to pay down, descriptions of your personal and professional goals, and how long it will take to meet them,” says Furman. “Make them understand your reasons for coming home, and how you’ll take advantage of your time there, and they’ll be more welcoming.”

Create a lease

It’s not a good idea to mooch off your parents. To earn respect as an adult member of the household, you should offer to pitch in financially. Furman recommends creating some form of contractual agreement, like a monthly rent and what portion of household costs you’ll cover.

If you have a job and are making money, offer to pay some rent, say 10 percent of your paycheck. (Many parents set that money aside to help kids pay loans, credit card debt, a rental security deposit or a down payment when they move out). You should also help pay some of the utility bills, cable and Internet. Definitely cover your own cell phone. Pay for your own gas if you’re using the family car. If you’re not bringing in a paycheck, offer to pay your rent by doing household chores, such as cooking, cleaning, running errands and, yes, mowing the lawn.

Discuss the non-financial matters

Your parents may have expectations of how you should be a model tenant – and yes, that may include a curfew. You should definitely bring up the non-financial expectations before moving back in. Is there a curfew? Are there rules about drinking? Can you have overnight guests? What about if you have a significant other? To make sure your privacy is respected, and your parents’ wishes are respected as well, write these terms and conditions into your lease.

Start saving more, spending less

To make sure you’re meeting your goals within the set timeline, first thing to do after you’ve unpacked your bags is to sit down, figure out your monthly expenses, create a budget and, most importantly, stick with it. Again, you can set up an account on Mint.com to track your spending and see where you might be able to trim the excess. It’s common for many boomerangers to spend more money after they’ve moved back home, on everything from an SUV to a new shoe collection.  Resist, and stay focused on your goals. That’s where Mom and Dad can really help out, says Furman. “Parents can help make sure you’re meeting those goals. They should sit down with kids every month for a progress report on the budget, career goals and whether enough money is being saved away.”

You may consider it annoying if your mom keeps asking whether you’re sent out resumes or made an appointment with that career counselor her friend recommended. But remember your parents have your best interest at heart, they’re your best cheerleaders, and they want to help you  succeed in the real world – for your sake, as well as theirs. They’re giving you a chance to regain your financial footing, so do your best not to waste it.

Vanessa Richardson is a freelance writer in San Francisco who writes about small business and personal finance.

There are numerous personal finance articles dealing with the perils and pitfalls of the personal loan.  When it comes to lending money to friends or family, the most recurrent piece of advice given is “Don’t.”  That’s not to say that many of these articles don’t offer potential lenders a lot of good advice on how to best navigate what can be a tricky and touchy situation.  Which is why I’m going to focus on the other side of the coin:  The protocol of the personal loan from the borrower’s point of view.

Like every other article on the subject, when it comes to borrowing from friends and family the best advice I can offer is “Don’t.”  The process is fraught with many bumps in the road that can serve to throw the best of relationships irreparably off track.  While philosophically it might be wise to adhere to the advice Polonius gives Laertes in Shakespeare’s Hamlet–

“Neither a borrower, nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry,”

–in reality that may not be an option.  So, you’ve got a big expense and no ready cash to cover it—what do you do?

Exhaust all other options first: spend less, make more

Before ever requesting that anyone sacrifice their hard-earned savings to keep you afloat, you should make sure you’ve done everything you can in making sacrifices of your own.  Be ruthless in trimming unnecessary expenses–and make sure you have a realistic view of what’s “necessary.”  Cable bills, anything other than basic cell phone services, eating out and other entertainment costs should be slashed from your budget.  It’s not cool to expect someone else to fund a lifestyle that is beyond your own means.

Speaking of “means,” effort should be made to increase your income.  Whether it’s negotiating a raise at work or finding a part-time gig to score some extra cash, make sure you’ve explored all options for balancing your expenses with sufficient income.

If cutting costs and increasing earnings doesn’t resolve your deficit, consider scaling back on your possessions.  Yes, it sounds harsh—but consider it from your potential lender’s point of view:  Nobody is going to feel comfortable handing over a nice chunk of change to someone who drives a Porsche and owns a 60″ plasma HDTV or a closet full of Jimmy Choos and Manolos.

At this point if you still need money, here are some steps to take to make sure that “a loan between friends” doesn’t end up being a case of money coming between friends:

Be a good risk.

Let’s face it:  If you were truly loan-worthy, you’d be able to go through the process and get the funds you need from a bank instead of your buddy, Bob.  That being said, you should still ensure that you’re responsible enough to warrant a personal loan.  Going through the process of cutting expenses and getting a second job shows that you are taking charge and holding yourself accountable.  This makes it easier for a lender to take a chance on giving you money.

Make it legal.

Create a formal agreement between you and your lender that specifies the payoff date and a payment plan.  There are various online options you could utilize: LoanBack.com and LendingKarma have customizable loan agreement forms and loan trackers available.  Or you could purchase a template from LawDepot.com.  But given that money is an issue, it’s probably best to just customize a free loan agreement template with the details of the terms such as interest rates, payment schedule, collateral, etc.  Putting it down on paper will ease the mind of the lender as well as making the obligation less tenuous and more tangible for you.

Have a plan.

Make sure you have a way to repay the loan in a timely fashion.  No lender is going to be comfortable with an open-ended “whenever” agreement—even your best buddy, Bob.  Break your loan amount into manageable monthly payments and come up with a way to free up resources to make those payments in a timely and consistent manner.  Perhaps make weekly or monthly transfers of the money you save by giving up your daily Starbucks latte into your lender’s PayPal account.

Walk the walk.

Once the immediate financial pressure is alleviated, don’t slack off and slide back into the habits that got you into trouble in the first place.  You especially want to make sure you’re not flaunting any frivolous purchases in front of your lender.  After all, if you can’t afford to pay your rent, you shouldn’t be shelling out money for the latest video game release or a new designer handbag.  This is one positive aspect of an impersonal bank loan:  A loan officer won’t be giving you the side eye at Thanksgiving dinner like Uncle Fred over that $500 you owe him.

Foreclose on your pride.

Even if your lender is collecting interest on your loan, the fact that you’ve accepted money from them opens you up to their scrutiny and often-unsolicited advice.   Whether it’s a lecture on how people were more fiscally responsible back in the day by Uncle Fred or a copy of a book by Suze Orman from Bob, it’s part and parcel of the price you pay for a personal loan.

Accept rejection graciously.

Even if your buddy Bob just scored a big promotion, that doesn’t mean he has to use it to stave off your foreclosure.  Recognize that many people are uncomfortable with money issues and the strain they can put on relationships. It’s a personal loan, but it’s not always personal. Bob may have had a bad experience in the past and vowed never again to lend to a friend, no matter how close or trustworthy.

Pay it back.

The most important aspect of receiving a personal loan is to pay it back.  Just about everyone has a story about lending money to a friend that ends up with them losing the money AND the friend.  Don’t be included in that statistic.  Be the happy anomaly that restores faith and trust in a positive outcome when it comes to borrowers and lenders.

Don’t “Lather, rinse, repeat.”

Once you’ve paid off your debt, continue to maintain your frugal tactics to build up an emergency fund so that you won’t find yourself in similar circumstances in the future.  Although repaying a loan proves that you’re a good risk for future financial needs, the real lesson that should be derived from the situation is gain more control over your finances so that you never have to put yourself or your friends and family in the awkward position of asking for money again.

Do you have any personal loan horror stories?  What lessons did you learn from the process?

The Protocol of the Personal Loan was written by Stella Louise, Editor of the Savings.com Blog & Save, a blog for savvy consumers looking to live well for less.

Now that you have heard wedding bells and experienced the joys of your wedding ceremony, it’s time to start thinking about how you’ll merge your finances. The budget management situation of a newlywed couple is not something to take lightly – the foundations you build right from the start will affect the entire relationship. Don’t simply think that “things will sort themselves out.” That’s the mindset of a financially troubled marriage.

Over 90% of couples admit to arguing over their budget management, and 34% cite it as a major problem in their marriage.1 Imagine not planning out who will handle your bills and organize your joint savings, let alone plan an overall budget for the family – and you might just cringe. Each spouse has their own interpretation of “important” expenses, and they’re going to spend accordingly without some joint agreements.

Coming up with those agreements, though, can be hard without the proper ways to track spending. Especially for young newlyweds in their late teens or early twenties, knowing what to do with taxes, savings, and 401k plans can be so confusing that many often revert to simply avoiding the subject altogether. Unfortunately, the theory of “if we ignore it, maybe it’ll work itself out” usually leads to more tension than satisfaction.

As if that weren’t enough, many newlyweds these days are thirty-somethings who are combining households and finances – a complicated issue by any measure. Whether you’re 19 or 35, then, there are several key factors and financial items that should be on any newlywed’s To Do list after the excitement of the wedding dies down.

1. Combining and Optimizing Insurances

Job One for any “financial marriage” is for both of you to change your insurance coverage. If both spouses have insurance coverage, it’s best to examine the different plans and costs to decide where the combination should occur. For instance, if the husband has insurance coverage that allows for free spousal coverage, you can set the wife up under that policy and start cutting your spending immediately.

If you can duplicate coverage, that’s good! Duplication ensures that should a medical emergency occur, your insurance policies should cover all of the important issues. If you are paying for insurance under one policy, but not the other, it may be a good idea to place the insurance coverage under the free policy and eliminate the charged one, if possible. Look for ways to lower your overall costs without losing coverage for both.

Mint’s Tip: A popular comparison site for health insurance is eHealthInsurance.com. They list many of the major insurers, and don’t require you to input your personal information before seeing the plan specifics such as monthly premium, deductible, and coinsurance percentage.

Aside from just medical insurance coverage, you’ll also need to combine homeowners insurance, renters insurance, auto insurance, and possibly life insurance. Make sure that you aren’t paying for the same coverage twice, and combine everything when and where possible. Your overall costs are cheaper when combined – for instance, auto insurance policies always offer multiple-driver and multiple-car discounts. Since most policies will require you to complete these changes within 30 days of your marriage, it’s a quick way to see financial savings immediately.

Keep in mind, as well, that your insurance coverage policies need verification of the marriage in order to proceed. Don’t just wait around and count on filing the marriage certificate paperwork to get that document in time! Most offices take 4-6 weeks to process your certificate. Make it a point to go down to your local county recorder’s office and get a copy, so that you can set up your policies quickly and efficiently.

While you’re changing your insurance coverage policies, you’ll also need to change your beneficiaries should something go wrong. Most people allow their spouse to be their beneficiary for all bank accounts, savings accounts, retirement plans, and insurance policies – so you’ll have to make those decision, as well. Also, some employers require that you identify the person who would receive your final check should something happen to you. Make sure to identify that person as your spouse, as well.

2. Juggling the Tiny Details and Plan for the Unexpected

There are also other issues that should be addressed before you race off to the honeymoon. If one spouse will be changing his or her name, for example, that change should be filed with the social security administration. That spouse will be issued a new social security card and, with that information, can change driver’s licenses or IDs to reflect the change. Anyone who sends you mail – such as credit card companies, magazine companies, and even, where applicable, your alumni association – should be alerted, too.

Now that that’s all taken care of, you’ll need to upgrade your wills next. This step is particularly important, as an old will can cause a terrible knot of problems should something happen to you or your spouse. Don’t stall from addressing these concerns quickly – although planning for situations like these can be difficult, ignoring them will only compound the problem. Make sure your desires are made clear.

3. Figure Out Where You Both Stand Financially

Your next obvious step is one that’s hard to overlook: reviewing all credit cards and other debt obligations between you and your spouse. Many people have credit cards, while others have student loans, child support, and alimony. It’s a good idea to sit down and plan out a way that you and your spouse can pay off these debts. While a perfect solution would be to eliminate your debt prior to getting married so as not to burden your spouse with your own debt, this isn’t always a possibility. Therefore, it’s important for both parties to work on making their family and their marriage debt-free.

4. Budget Management For Your Future – Together

Beyond just paying off debts, though, you’ll want to review your financial goals for life. When do you both plan to retire? Do you own a home yet? If so, do you want to plan on moving into a larger home? If you don’t own a home yet, you’ll often want to draw up a timeline goal for buying one. How long will it take you to save up money for a down payment, and what can the two of you afford when it comes to a home purchase? Set goals together, as a couple, so that you both have a clear understanding of your desires, your goals, your milestones, and the means by which to accomplish them.

This last step brings us to a key point: a newlywed couple absolutely must develop a budget. It is essential that the two of you work out your income, your monthly expenses, and debt obligations. Once that’s been determined, you can make key decisions on how to save money, create an emergency fund, or invest in options for the future. Without a budget, you are going to experience a difficult time together!

With this budget in hand and your plan for the future set, your debt repayment plans laid out, and your key financial information changed over, as a couple you’re ready for a successfully and financially responsible marriage together. Stress levels will be lower and your foundation will be set for a strong marriage based on financial responsibility. Hopefully, all of this planning will ensure that money will never be what comes between you both!

Reference

1. Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, “Dan Quayle Was Right,” The Atlantic Monthly Magazine, April 1993, 47.

Further Reading on the Topic

Create a budget

Budget Management

Track Spending

Personal finance is something that we care about here at Mint. Learn more about personal finance in our blog article index.

It’s a happy Monday and you’ll find Mint’s blog participating in two carnivals for the week.

The 1st anniversary of the Carnival of Family Life can be read at the very cool family/mommy blog, An Island Life.

Mint’s tasty pick? Contrary to our recent post, here’s “The Ten Best Things You Can Do For Your Children’s Financial Future” from Personal Finance Advice.

The 99th Carnival of Personal Finance can also be found at Money, Matter, and More Musing. A very big thanks to the host for picking our post as editor’s choice!

Mint’s yummy pick? “10 Energy Savings Home Improvements” from SavingWithMe.com.