Ten Lies You’ll Hear Before Pursuing Your Dream

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(photo: salty_soul)
Unfortunately, just before you take your first step on the righteous journey to pursue your dreams, people around you, even the ones who deeply care for you, will give you awful advice. It’s not because they have evil intentions. It’s because they don’t understand the big picture—what your dreams, passions, and life goals mean to you. They don’t understand that, to you, the reward is worth the risk.
So they try to protect you by shielding you from the possibility of failure, which, in effect, also shields you from the possibility of making your dreams a reality.
As our friend Steve Jobs says:
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice, heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
Here are ten ill-advised tips (lies) people will likely tell you when you decide to pursue your dreams and the reasons why they are dreadfully mistaken:
1. You can follow your dreams someday, but right now you need to buckle down and be responsible.
Someday? When is ”someday”? “Someday” is not a day at all. It’s a foggy generalization of a time that will likely never come. Today is the only day guaranteed to you. Today is the only day you can begin to make a difference in your life. And pursuing your dreams is what life is all about. So don’t be irresponsible. Don’t wait until “someday.” Make today the first day of the rest of your new life.
2. You’re totally screwed if it doesn’t work out.
Wrong! This is a giant, lame load of BS. You’re not even close to being screwed. In fact, the worst case scenario is that things don’t work out and you have to go back to doing exactly what you are doing right now.
3. It’s safer to stay at your day job.
Sure, I suppose. But you know what’s even safer than that? Going home, locking yourself in your bedroom, and never, ever coming out. And just like that, you will have flushed your entire life and your dreams down the toilet. Remember, safer doesn’t always mean better.
4. That’s impossible!
It’s only impossible if you never do anything about it. The reason certain things seem impossible is simply because nobody has achieved them yet. But this doesn’t mean that with your help these things won’t become possible in the future. If you truly dedicate yourself to an end result, almost anything is possible. You just have to want it bad enough.
5. Only a lucky few “make it.”
That’s because those lucky few got off their rear ends and did something about it! They had the drive, determination, and willpower that you have right now. You can be one of them. It’s up to you, and only you.
6. You might fail. And failing is bad.
Failures are simply stepping stones to success. No matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be. Either you succeed or you learn something: win–win. The biggest mistake you can make is doing nothing because you’re too scared to make a mistake. If you can’t handle failure, then you can’t handle success either.
7. You don’t have access to the right resources.
It’s not about having the right resources; it’s about exploiting the resources you do have access to. Stevie Wonder couldn’t see, so he exploited his sense of hearing into a passion for music, and he now has twenty-five Grammy Awards to prove it. Get it?
8. You need more money saved before you can take the first step.
You don’t need more money. You need a plan. You need a budget. Eliminate ALL the nonessential costs in your life. If pursuing your dream requires you to leave your day job, figure out the absolute minimum amount of income that you realistically require to live. Studying those who have succeeded with similar ventures also helps. But above all, take baby steps. Don’t be foolish and assume that you must have a certain amount of money saved right now, or that you must quit your day job today in order to pursue your dreams. Instead, ask yourself, “What actions can I take right now with the money and resources I have right now that will bring me closer to desired goal?”
9. You don’t need any help. It’s smarter to go after it alone.
You are the sum of the people you spend the most time with. If you hang with the wrong people, they will negatively affect you. But if you hang with the right people, you will be far more capable and powerful than you ever could have been alone. Find your tribe and work together to make a difference in all of your lives.
10. That sounds like a lot of hard work.
You’re darn right it does! But that doesn’t mean it’s not worth it. I think success in life hinges on one key point: finding hard work you love doing. As long as you remain true to yourself and follow your own interests, values, and dreams, you can find success through passion. Perhaps most importantly, you won’t wake up a few years from now working in a career field you despise, wondering, How the heck am I going to do this for the next thirty years? So if you catch yourself working hard and loving every minute of it, don’t stop. You’re onto something big. Because hard work ain’t hard when you concentrate on your passions and dreams.
Disregard these misguided bits of nonsense and you’ll be well on your way to fulfilling your dreams. Now get out there and make a splash!
Ten Lies You’ll Hear Before Pursuing Your Dream provided by DivineCaroline.com.
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34 Comments so far
leave a commentI really love this post, this advice should be plastered on the walls of every school in the world. I know there are posts like this everywhere but this message is really important and should be given a more authoritative venue instead of always just being on some blog post. Thanks though for this post it is very well done and an excellent topic.
These are neither lies nor necessarily bad advice. There’s a great deal of truth in some of what is said, but it’s also extremely self-indulgent, completely ignoring any financial responsibilities one might have to dependents, and for a site focused on finance, completely and utterly ignorant of any sound financial advice.
For example, #2. Being screwed if it doesnt work out IS a reality. You will not necessarily be back at square one. You might have severed many personal relationships and been forced to move for your single minded quest to “do what you love”, and be unable to rekindle those relationships. You may, in fact, are very likely to amass large amounts of debt, some of which may be impossible to ever walk away from (student loans).
Is this really mint-worthy advivce?
“but it’s also extremely self-indulgent, completely ignoring any financial responsibilities one might have to dependents, and for a site focused on finance, completely and utterly ignorant of any sound financial advice.”
You automatically assume a worst-case-scenario context in which someone is being egotistically self indulgent while casting off big-picture responsibilities. Where did the author ever suggest to do that? Show me the line of text where they said to abandon your kids and family. Looks like the opposite to me:
“Don’t be foolish and assume that you must have a certain amount of money saved right now, or that you must quit your day job today in order to pursue your dreams. Instead, ask yourself, “What actions can I take right now with the money and resources I have right now that will bring me closer to desired goal?”
It’s always about moderation and doing what is appropriate for our situations. If you can’t hold that kernal of truth within your mind while reading this and exploring the possibilities, then I guess it’s not the most appropriate advice for you, is it? That doesn’t mean it isn’t for someone else who is able to – and that’s the whole point of the discussion: don’t let someone else’s assumed perspective or limited view on life rule your day.
Mark. There are 2 types of people in the world. Optimists who invent airplanes and pessimists who invent parachutes. We need both.
One will always have the choice between safety and success.
I assume it only because there is no where in the entire article that even deals with the fact of having responsibility to anyone but yourself. Listen, I understand exactly the viewpoint where she is coming from. If you have a dream like that, it will be really difficult if not impossible to achieve it without having a mindset like she describes. I’m not even saying its a bad thing to think this way. But again, this list is neither comprised of lies nor necessarily bad advice. In the real world, actions have consequences. You cant achieve your dream without risk and drive, but that doesnt guarantee the payoff.
Things that are not lies:
Sometimes you DO need to buckle down and be responsible, especially for kids. IMO they come first, always.
You can be screwed very hard if it doesnt work out. It doesnt always work out the way you want or expect it to.
It probably IS safer to stay at your day job.
Some things actually ARE impossible.
Sometimes, only a lucky few do make it – not everyone can be a rock star that wants to be
You might fail, and yes, failing can be bad. It wouldnt be failure if it wasnt.
Access to opportunity and resources CAN be a serious impediment.
You probably should have a cushion before you make any serious changes.
And it is most certainly going to be a lot of hard work.
Again, I’m not saying people shouldnt try. Its up to individuals to decide what theyre willing to sacrifice in order to make that dream happen, including the very real possibility of failure. Those that succeed are not only those who just throw it all on the line and pretend like nothing can go wrong. I wager that it’s those that adequately prepare themselves mentally AND financially for major life changes like pursuing a new career are going to be the most successful in the long run.
On a site like mint, I expect to see advice about how to go about this the smart way, not about how you should “just do it, what’s the worst that can happen.”
As a person who is living their dreams, I couldn’t agree with you more.
I have heard all of these lines at one point or another.
The funny thing is that when people who gave me those lines realized that I pursued my dreams with much success, they said that I was “lucky.”
For some people, they have shut themselves off to the idea that pursuing your dreams is possible.
This is such great advice!
I’m currently in the middle of making a major career change, and it’s something I put off for way too long. I’m still working full time in my old job, and going to school full time, and I won’t be done with my plan for almost 5 years (I’ve been working at this for 18 months now). BUT when I finish I will have nearly doubled my current salary, moved into a more stable field, and more importantly, be doing what I’ve wanted to do with my life since I was a teenager.
However, I would never have been able to pull this change off without one thing: the unconditional support of my husband. Without his encouragement, him shouldering more than his fair share of the housework and his commitment to our long term goals, I wouldn’t be able to pull it off. I don’t recommend anyone try a major life change without the 100% support and agreement of your spouse or partner.
I enjoyed reading this, I made a career change way back and I heard the same lines as well. But in the end it will still be your decision and your motivation to follow your dreams.
although how awful their advice, I rather hear my thought. I think our spirit will guide us to pursue our dream
There are days when you need inspiration and something like this is thrown right in front of your face. Needed this.
I’m retired from working though I still dream about being successful in life and business. I continually pursue my business passion by trying different businesses. Currently my wife and I have a cleaning business and we do some internet marketing as well. I believe the reason I do this is to fulfil my dreams of being successful. As for your post in your blog, I have heard lots of reasons not to keep pursuing my business interests. Everyone from friends and even my wife tell me not to purue these for one reason or another. I am learning that in this world that if I don’t pursue something I want a few things are going to happen. Firstly I don’t think that I would be happy. Secondly I won’t know if I could succeed if I don’t try. Lastly I believe that America is still a place where if you can dream about it you can achieve it.
here is your ssdi allowance tent, and sleeping bag… now go take over those blue chip titans and dont let the cia drive you out of town..
cheers!
I totally agree with this post! People like Mark will never take risks and therefore will never live up to their full potential. Taking a calculated risk is ALWAYS worth it!!! You can always bounce back if the worst happened (and you’ll learn from your mistakes). Get two jobs, find another business partner, get new financing, etc…
remember: no risk=little or no reward
This is the kind of feel good BS that high school kids are filled with that causes them to get a liberal arts degree from a private school. When they graduate, the find out that having $70,000 of debt and a bachelor’s degree in English is not a winning situation. I would expect better from a personal finance blog.
Great advice. Heard some of those before.
There’s no numerical data provided by the author to back up these arguments – a pathetic article for a site that offers financial advice.
This was the perfect time in my life to read this. Thank you!
And 1 non-lie:
You are an indentured servant in this country because you need corporate-sponsored health insurance.
This is a great article, I have encountered people like this all my life but I have never let them phase me.
Thank you for this. I quit my job to become a full time freelance artist a little over a year ago. It was the greatest decision of my life however I am still working things out here and there. Mostly I am striving to understand and achieve number 9. My current circle is not as motivated as I, and give me grief about working all the time. There is also a bit of tension regarding working situations…I think my friends admire while also resent the fact that I am doing something I love. Oftentimes work gets a negative spin because of my odd hours, missing out on things and such, and it frustrates me that they don’t have something in their lives they are passionate about that causes THEM to miss out on insignificant bar nights. I can’t help but imagine a life with like minded individuals who are driven and feel the need to create everyday. the things we would make i tell you. think of the thinnnngs.
i need to move
I particularly like #6… this is what I hear all the time but I really think success is built on a sum of failures. You never learn how to ride a bike without failing miserably before.
Follow your dreams and you will be happier !!
Following your dreams is NOT about chucking it all and running off into the sunset irresponsibly! It’s about identifying what you really want, making a plan to get there and then seriously making the changes that are necessary. It will involve sacrifice and pain but also great joy and rewards. You need to look at failure as a possibility, map out what that might look like and ask yourself if you can live with it. For me the answer is usually yes.
Fear of failure is what keeps us from being committed to living out our dreams. But how many times have you done something totally on a whim that eventually completely worked out in the end? If you are hearing that little voice in your heart that is urging you to make a change… you should at least try, make a plan… at least if it ends up not working you gave it your best, no one can fault you for going after your passion.
Wow! I’m enjoying the debate going on in the comments more than the actual blog post! It’s fascinating to me how divided everyone is on this topic. I’m a career consultant and definitely share the message of ‘do what you love’. Often times when I talk about this topic, I’m met with confusion, other times anger, and once in a while, fascination. I think this all comes down to personality and the ability to envision yourself being successful, while making some sacrifices along the way. I started my business 1.5 years ago and in the process of doing that, have had to cut back on frivolous purchases like a new car I didn’t really need and vacations to the Caribbean, but when it comes down to it, it’s a trade I would make again and again. To have a career I love and continue to build is a dream come true. If your priority is to have the biggest house on the street and drive a Hummer, then I can see why you would believe the advice in this blog makes no sense. I think the thing we’re really debating about is personal values and what we view success to be, which will vary from person to person.
I agree with you, the debate here is between what dreams people should pursue, not whether they should pursue them.
I just dropped out of college. It was a difficult decision, of course; I was doing well academically, and was involved in campus activities (not as much as I could have done, but much more than I’d ever attempted in high school). The problem was, I valued the process of learning, whereas everyone else would rather cram as many facts in their head as they could to get the highest-paying job, so their parents would be proud of them. I couldn’t stand being around so many people who complained non-stop about our Humanities readings (but come Bible study, they plucked allusions and metaphors out the yin-yang).
In a way, I both followed and rejected the advice of this columnist. I sacrificed hard-work and future success for my own, selfish peace. I may never do better than retail manager, but all I really want is a roof over my head that I can call my own (or my landlord’s), my family and friends, and a good book.
If you want to become something that requires discipline but does a good service for people and pays six-figures, do it. If you want to scrounge for rent money trumpeting your soul on a street corner, do it. Just don’t do the former with a negative attitude towards the simple-minded, nor do the latter with the intent of working the system for unemployment pay.
I wanted to be a rock star. I was the best guitar player in my hometown, so I thought I could move to L.A., start a band, get a record deal, and become rich and famous. I dropped out of college, immersed myself into the local music scene, and guess what? Nothing happened. The next several years were a series of disappointments, and now I’m stuck with an armful of tattoos I regret, my once long, flowing hair is thin and receding and completely out of style. I refused any gainful employment so I could concentrate on my music, so I have no marketable skills. Middle age is rapidly approaching and I’m basically screwed because I wanted to follow my dream. This article is giving bad advice. Don’t do what I did.
I have been a full time freelance artist for over a dozen years. I heard all of these arguments and more.
How having my own long established creative business has served me:
1. I could work anywhere, so I chose a less expensive part of the country, living within the means of my worst year, not my best.
2. I could change my product line on a dime since I had total control over it, allowing me to pretty deftly dance around recession buying patterns.
3. Has allowed full employment for both me and my spouse without danger of layoffs.
I am not making what I was pre-2007, but I have no debt.
I would suggest that people in the arts also study business- it will either help your arts business, or you have a fallback. Too many people in creative fields don’t have the grounding of business 101 and it can really undermine their chance for success.
At the beginning of my third year of university, I realised I was on the wrong course. I was learning to hate it, I knew what alternative I wanted, and I was in a good position to go for it.
And then I listened to people.
My friends and family told me that since I’d already done two years of the course, it would be a shame to waste it. I only had a year left to go and then I’d *have a degree*.
So, I followed their advice, and underwent the most depressing year of my life. Halfway through my third year I knew with certainty that I would never want to follow a career in this field.
Before I’d even received the certificate my degree was worthless to me, and for the last few months I’ve been laying around, with as much direction in life as I had when I left junior school 13 years ago. That is to say – none.
It’s not the fault of the people who gave me the advice, it’s my own fault for paying them any attention.
Chalk one up to experience, I guess.
Achieving one’s dreams isn’t necessarily the hard part. If one has a dream, sufficient motivation should be easily obtainable. The hard part is discovering the dream itself…
I know this post is meant to inspire people, and I have actually been told many of these pieces of advice! I need to do what I want, I need to do what I want now, I need to just do it! What do I want? I want to study abroad. And I can’t. And it’s killing me inside, and every time I hear someone tell me to study abroad because it’ll be one of the best experiences of my life, I feel like crying.
I don’t have the money to study abroad, nor do my parents. I cannot get a loan. I have been applying to scholarships for many years now, and have never received one. All of the money I am making now, every single cent, is going to pay for college, and I’ll still graduate several thousand in debt. And I am given the advice to just do it, to just leave, to just go abroad because I’ll never have a chance like this again. And it’s true, I won’t. But I cannot even afford the plane ticket.
It’s great that people think anything is possible. But sometimes it’s hard when you find out for yourself that it isn’t true, and people think you just didn’t try hard enough if you don’t get to do the things you want.
Nice post! Really enjoyed all the 10 reasons against.
I am waiting for someone to write a rebuttal giving 100 reasons why to pursue your dream no matter what.
You stole this from my Mother. She has been telling me all these for years!